Walking with My Father in the Trees

IMG_2678IMG_2457When my father came for a visit, we walked together at Jacks Peak Park, a place I love and where I mostly walk. He did what I never would in a forest: he yelled at the top of his lungs. He was angry and fearful about what life comes down to when its end draws near. The boom of his voice made me feel protective of the forest, made me want to shelter it from his gruff sound. I tell you, the tree branches quivered. Why hadn’t he saved his rant for my kitchen table? Though I wish he’d chosen another location, the boundless space gave him the room he needed to let go of a bit of his fear, for that is what his anger hid. After leaving the park, my father’s spirit was a whole lot lighter.

9 thoughts on “Walking with My Father in the Trees

  1. so many people who have more wisdom than I told me to yell my lungs out when the frustration of life lives in me. I have and it has cleared my soul of anxiety and the baggage I carry with me. Let Go and let God. What will I learn next? Nick was such a smart and funny man. Never got to see his real soul but I bet it was wonderful. I think Ill go for a walk in the forest today!

  2. I am so deeply moved by what your dad felt that day and I feel the forest was there for his release as every tree is God ❤️

  3. Hi Patricia,
    I was shocked and saddened when I heard about your father. He was so supportive when I was an RA at Stevenson College from 1980-1981(I graduated in 1981).
    I’m sorry that I lost contact with him. He will surely be remembered by many Stevenson alumni. Can we stay in touch. Brett Lane

    1. Somehow I’ve missed the comments on my blog. Want you to know there will be a remembrance for him at the Alumni Weekend and the memorial will be 6/27 at Stevenson.

  4. I knew your father for awhile when I was a student at UCSC. He was a passionate man. I can picture him yelling in the forest, imagining not the peace of the forest, but the strength of the trees, strong enough and massive enough to contain and perhaps to calm his outrage that life must indeed end. It comes as no surprise to me that he would not go gently into that good night.

    I am holding him and you in my heart. He was an amazing man. I feel his energy, and his impression on my life even now, so many years later.

    1. Thank you so much for this. Somehow I missed the comments on my blog posts and am just catching up now. Again, thank you!

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